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John Patterson Jr.

The following story is a little graphic. It is very brave for John to step forward and tell this story of sexual abuse.

My name is John Patterson II. I was 13 years old when I was sent to the Florida School for Boys at Marianna. I believe, as difficult as this is to write about, that it is necessary for some of us to step forward in order to expose these bastards for what they really are-CHILD MOLESTERS. It is my hope that by my telling the full and absolute truth about what happened to me that others will find it much easier to also come forward.

Before I went to FSB I spent 30 days at the Santa Rosa County Jail in Milton. I had no ideal what was going on at the time.

The Master Log at the Arthur G. Dozier Training School (Formally known as FSB) state the following: (First Time: Date Of Commitment is: 27 April 1967 / Offense: Ungovernable / Date Of Admit: 28 April 1967 / Date Of Release: 06 April 1968). (Second Time: Date Of Commitment: 08 September 1969 / Offense: Incorrigibility / Date Of Admit: 10 October 1969 / Date Of Release: 07 June 1970).

This is the hardest thing that I have ever written in my life. This is a part of my past that I have always kept to myself. There are a couple of people that I trust enough to tell of these events.

For many of years this hunted me and I still have bad dreams about it. For many years I was into using drugs from marijuana to the use of heroin. I was in VA Hospitals from Atlanta Georgia to American Lake VA Hospital in Lakewood Washington and before then other treatment centers in the United States. A few times I tried to kill myself by trying to overdose. I have been clean for over twenty-seven years.

I don’t generally use bad language, but to understand what actually happen, I cannot leave such language out.

At age thirteen and while incarcerated at the Florida School for Boys at Marianna, a staff person sexually abused me.

After being taken to the White House, I was given a beating for trying to run a way. After the beating (by Troy Tidwell) I made a remark he did not appreciate. I told him that one of these days he will pay for the beating and he got very upset at me. Another staff person left the building and left Mr. Tidwell and me alone.

He made it very clear to me that I would pay a very large price for my smart mouth remark. He told me that I was a very cute little boy and said “I bet you have never sucked a fucking dick, have you boy.”

At the time I had no ideal what he was talking about. He told me that he was going to stick his penis inside of my mouth and make me suck. He had me get onto my knees and pull his pants down. He took me by my head and forced is penis inside of my mouth and he told me to “mouth up and down on his penis” and that I better not bite down or I will pay a very deep price for it.

After a while he ejaculated I choked and spit some of the sperm out. He began yelling at me and kicked me in the stomach. Then he made me repeat the same act again.

Before we left the White House he told me I better not tell a soul about what happen or I “would not make it home alive.” I took his comment very seriously.

Another time was one night I was sleeping and the night person woke me up and took me down stairs to a storage room. He told me he heard that I knew how to suck and now he is going to show me how it is going to feel to have a penis stuck in my rectum.

He had me take off my nightclothes and then he undressed.

He got me on my knees and he stuck he penis inside of my mouth and made me perform oral sex on him.

He had me get onto floor on my fours and he got behind me. He took his penis and slowly inserted it inside of my anus. I felt like I was being ripped apart – that pain was so bad that I screamed. He hit me on the back of my head and told me to keep my God damn mouth shut or he will make it even worse of me. He kept thrusting he penis in and out of my anus and the pain was excoriating. I thought I was going to die. It is a pain I will never forget. Though in pain, I knew if I yell for help that I would pay for it.

After this he escorted me to the shower area and had me take a shower.

During the shower my mind was going a hundred directions – I wanted to kill the son-of-a-bitch. I felt like dirt and even considered killing myself.

When I got back in bed the boy next to me ask me “Did he do something bad to your butt?” I didn’t say a word, but I believe he knew by the look on my face.

The next day I ran a way from the reform school and when I got caught I was taken to the White House where I was given one hundred licks and then taken to the detention so the cuts would heal.

Another time was one night after I was caught for smoking a cigarette. Mr. Tidwell and another staff person took me to the White House and I was given twenty-five licks.

But instead of taking me right back to the cottage or to the detention right away – they took me to a place that was behind a building and downstairs. Later on I found out that was the “RAPE ROOM”.

They both made me perform oral sex until they got an erection and then both sexually abused me, one in front and the other from behind.

I never felt so degraded in my whole life. I was cursing God; thinking how God let this happen to me. I wanted to kill these two bastards and I knew that one day I would.

Afterwards, I was taken to the detention, given a shower and clean clothes.

Before I was taken to the detention I was warned to keep my mouth shut about this or I will pay for it. I was asked if I understood and I told them “yes.”

I was very scared that if I said anything about this I would end up dead. I believed everything and every word that they told me.

For many of years I used drugs and booze to block this out of my mind. In 1970 I even tried to kill myself and I was sent to the Florida State Hospital. At that time this hospital was also a living hell.

Later, I was introduced to Robert (Bob and Shirley) Terry and they accepted me into their home and treated me like a part of their family. Bob and Shirley have two daughters – Paula and Mickie. They treated me like I was a brother.

I want to highly thank the Terry family (Bob – Shirley – Paula – Mickie) for taking me into their home – treating me as a part of their family – giving me the love and care I needed. To me Bob and Shirley were like my real father and mother – Paula and Mickie like my real sisters.

I also want to thank the Balsemer family for making me a part of their family – for loving me for whom I am – for putting up with some of my garbage and for forgiving me – for showing me the love for Christ.

The hardest thing for me was to forgive these people who abused and harmed to me. For many years I hated these people and twenty-four hours a day I thought of nothing but killing them. Over the years my hatred for these people was tearing me apart and I had to shake it before it totally destroyed me.

No child should ever be treated the way we kids were at the Florida School for Boys at Marianna.

I remember riding to the reform school in the back seat of a Santa Rosa County Sheriff car, I did not know that it Was a reform school I was going to and I had no ideal what a reform school was. Remember when we got there I Thought the place looked real nice. I thought this place would be a lot better then living at a abused home. A few Days later I found out how bad I was wrong. At 13 I was a small guy and was picked on.

One day I had it and I fought back. (Note: a statement was made that the White House was closed in 1967 - before Then the beating was called flogging, and after that it was spankings. I know because I had it done a few times). After the fight was broken up, myself and the other boy was sent to the White House by two staff persons. I only Remember one staff person by name and that is Mr. Tidwell, only reason I remember him is that he only had one Arm. I remember when we first went inside the White House it was dark only with a small light.

The other things I remember is: told to undress down to my underwear, to lie on a old iron type bed. To hold on a Rail bar, told not to say anything and to look at the wall. I remember someone turned on a fan that made a lot of Noise.

I remember the first time the strap hit my buttock and the force lifted me up. Remembered holding my teeth Together so I would not yell out because of the pain, I knew if yelled out the count would start over - I felt it would Not end. I could tell that the strap cut into my skin and that I was bleeding. Remember that someone ended up Setting on my back.

After it was done I remember how my underwear stick to my skin and how hard it was to go to the bathroom. Also Remember during the beating to myself I was crying :Oh God - Why are you allowing this to happen to me - do you Hate me that bad?

After the White House I was taken to the detention and put into small room for a few days. I have been to the White House a few times - a few times for trying to escape - I did it so many times I was given the nick name (Rabbit) Because they said I had rabbit blood. ( I was one of the boys who survived the 100 lashes beating)

Now I am 55 and I still have bad dreams about the White House and the so-call spankings I got there. The only Right way of putting it: The White House Was A Living HELL.

Also I know for fact that other boys went to the White House during the same period of time that I was at the reform School. I have a letter from Roy C. McKay (Superintendent) 14 August 1998 reflecting the two commitments dates Above.

John Patterson Jr. From April 1967 to June 1970